Kim Jong-il is dead. Aged 69 the North Korean dictator died of a heart attack prompting mass amounts of weeping from the North Korean public.Well that’s what they’ve said anyway, for all we know he’s still alive, or was killed by an over-amorous swan whilst on an afternoon jog; and let’s face it the weeping could have been brought on by chopping a lorry-load of onions off camera.
This is from a nation who say Kim Jong-il was born in a log cabin under a double rainbow and a bright star in the sky. No really.
But regardless of what’s actually true he’s gone, leaving behind his son to rule over North Korea with an iron fist. This is all well and good, but there’s one small detail that puts the mockers on that scheme. His son, known by many as Kim Jong-un, is Russell from Pixar's Up.
I mean, he really isn’t very intimidating is he? The kid who sells cookies door-to-door is about to take the reins of the most secluded nation on the planet. He hasn’t even got his ‘Assisting the Elderly’ Wilderness merit badge yet.
After about two weeks in charge he’ll be complaining “I’m tired, my knee hurts” and run off with a talking dog to feed a ridiculously large bird some chocolate.
Not very intimidating at all. Kim Jong-il was subjected to quite a bit of satirical abuse, whether it be from the South Korean’s laughing at his vanity and platform shoes, or the Americans attaching strings and having him sing about his chronic ‘wroneliness’. His son should be ready for so much more belittling.
Poor Russell, I suppose now he’s in charge he doesn’t have to take orders from a grumpy old man who lives in the clouds. Let's just hope he's sensible.
This made me laugh. He does look like Russell now that I think about it... You'll prolly get beaten up by some North Korean for writing this...
ReplyDeleteI any case North Korea's future does seem uncertain. Read an article earlier about Kim Jong-Un. The heir apparent's saying he doubts he's "crazy" enough to run North Korea... Wonder if this is an omen for the nation.