Bird Watching.

Wimbledon has been and gone this year and I’m missing it already. Every time it comes around I get more than a little addicted to it and pretty much watch every available match when I can.

I do like tennis and would watch it a lot more if it was on terrestrial tele more. Maybe that’s why I get so excited when Wimbledon’s on because I’ve been starved of tennis for a whole year thanks to Sky having bought all the other tournaments like greedy little kids who come to birthday party buffets with Tupperware boxes.

Every now and again though I do get to see some tennis that isn’t Wimbledon, for example when Murray got to the final of the Australian Open last year the BBC showed the match, which pretty much made my month! However all the other tournaments don’t really compare to Wimbledon, I’m not sure what it is but they’re just not the same. The tennis itself is fine, but the overall aesthetics of the other tournaments is poor. When you watch Wimbledon you see hardly any sponsors whatsoever, there’s Rolex on the time board and I think Evian were providing the water, but that was all you saw as a television viewer. Sure there were more corporate sponsors of Wimbledon but they were largely confined to the areas around the courts, there for all the attendees to see.

Contrast that to the other tournaments. The Australian Open for example covers every cubic centimetre with KIA logos, has boards for Jacobs Creek and ANZ and Evian’s fridge is bigger than my local ice-cream van! The US Open decides to promote Mercedes-Benz at every given opportunity along with other companies like Olympus and the French Open even has boards promoting the BNP! (probably not the fascist British political party though)

As bad as these sponsorship issues are though, they pale in comparison to the actual broadcasting of the tournaments. The US Open is probably the worst with its painfully bad commentary and the way it treats tennis like an American football match with its ridiculous slow-motion shots and silly in-your-face logos that fly out at the screen between shots. Honestly, I think I’m playing an EA Sports game every time I watch it.

However, slow motion and over the top commentary aside, the main issue I have with the broadcasting outside of Wimbledon is the girlfriend cam. What is it with sports broadcasters these days with their incessant obsession with player’s wives and girlfriends?! It seems every sport I watch is doing this now, it all probably started with football, David Beckham scores a goal and instead of watching the players celebrate or a replay we get to see Victoria Beckham clap like an overly accessorised seal.

But it’s not just football anymore, it seems every other sport wants to get involved with missus-cam; tennis, rugby, cricket, I remember watching darts once where the cameraman was transfixed on one of the players girlfriends; even darts players have hot girlfriends these days… In the team sports like football I can just about put up with it, after all you only really get a few goals per game, but in tennis the camera zooms in on the ladies after pretty much every single point! Most of the time they’re not even doing anything, they’re just sat there with sunglasses on pretending not to be asleep. Whenever they do react in any way you can expect to see a replay of that reaction, sometimes in slow-motion if it’s at the US Open…

It’s just annoying, it’s not like I don’t want to see it, but after every point? It’s a little excessive. Wimbledon still indulges itself in missus-cam but it’s far more subtle than the other three grand slams. Maybe it’s because it’s on the BBC…

Wimbledon doesn’t get off the hook so easily though. Whereas it doesn’t abuse missus-cam like the other tournaments it certainly likes to get involved in a spot of celebrity watching. Oh look it’s that bloke from a TV show I don’t care to remember, best get a shot of him! And what do we have here, Ian Hislop eating a sandwich? Get that lens on him immediately! This unfortunate phenomenon occurs most obtrusively in the final where Wimbledon and the BBC go out of their way to pack as many celebrities into centre court as possible. Honestly, you could not swing a racket in there without hitting a celebrity clean in the jaw! Does anyone really care what Doctor Who thinks about attending his first tennis match?

The BBC just can’t help themselves, no longer satisfied with just broadcasting sport they want to muscle in on E! Entertainment’s audience too. It’s the same with their F1 coverage where they’ll interview Simon Pegg or Hugh Grant before the race. What is that all about? Why should we care about what these celebrities think about a sport they are not involved in? Shouldn’t they be interviewing people like David Coulthard for the F1 and Boris Becker for the tennis?

Annoying television audiences with celebrity spotting is one thing, but I actually think this celebrity obsession affects the sport itself. Andy Murray made it to his first Wimbledon final this year, but you wouldn’t have thought it. You could have heard a pin drop in there, and they even had the roof on! Because they filled the place with celebrities, politicians and general rich toffs the atmosphere in there dive-bombed! If Murray was playing Federer in the semi-final the noise levels would have been through the roof! (literally!)

It was just a little dismaying to sit at home and hear such a pathetic attempt at support for Britain’s number one tennis player. They picked up a little towards the very end when Murray was on his last legs, but it was too little too late. Shouting “come on, Tim!” (which isn’t getting old at all) isn’t going to help him I’m afraid. Next year Wimbledon need to seriously rethink their policy for the final. Let some of the rabble from Henman Hill in there, that should sort it out!