The 5th of November has been and gone now, the official day of fireworks up in smoke for another year. Firework pun, hooray!
This year’s bonfire night will probably be most remembered for a footballing clown setting his bathroom on fire. Of course I can only be talking about Mario Balotelli.
Mario is football’s comedian right now. In his uncanny ability to fail on massive proportions whether it be setting his shower curtain alight, swearing on tele or not being able to put a bib on, nobody matches him in entertainment value.
Of course the papers were set alight by the bathroom calamity. Balotelli has become their lifeblood in recent months. Without him the tabloids would be bankrupt. The day after City’s drubbing of United the papers went bananas with firework puns. It was almost like a competition between them, who could use the most puns in one article.
Mash all the paper’s stories together and you’d end up with:
Firework pun overdose.
To add even more comedy to the situation, Super Mario became the face of firework safety, a master stroke for the campaigners. Who better than a daft footballer who’s set fire to his own house by throwing fireworks out of his window, to front a firework safety campaign. Funny, but genius.
I always feel for the paramedics, doctors and nurses who are rushed off their feet like no other day of the year during the bonfire weekend. The amount of kids who get hold of them and throw them around the street expecting nothing bad to happen seems to actually be growing!
Maybe it’s a failure in our education system, but isn’t it common sense for people to know fireworks are dangerous. Everytime I see the adverts I’m amazed that people need telling this. Next we’ll have oven safety warnings telling us they get hot when turned on; maybe a don’t smash a glass and eat it movement; or perhaps a don’t stick a fork in your eye campaign. I’m sure Mario will be available.
Every year you see the horrible figures of kids who’ve disfigured themselves with a firework. I think we should just give up trying to tell them to be honest; maybe they’re just doing it because we’re telling them not to. My solution would be to ban them from public sale. Simple really.
Fireworks should be sold to registered bonfire organisers only, through suppliers not irresponsible fireworks shops. If people want to go and see some fireworks they can go to a licenced event and watch them. Good for the economy, good for safety, bloody brilliant for the NHS.
It seems to me that it’s the best way to stop kids from getting access to them. I know people will groan that they like having their own in their back garden but c’mon people are getting burned to buggery every year now. Is it really worth the risk to you and your kids?
It’s not that I dislike fireworks, far from it, I love them. It’s just depressing to know that while you’re watching a fireworks show at a local event, somewhere not too far away a thirteen-year-old’s face is on fire.
Mario is football’s comedian right now. In his uncanny ability to fail on massive proportions whether it be setting his shower curtain alight, swearing on tele or not being able to put a bib on, nobody matches him in entertainment value.
Of course the papers were set alight by the bathroom calamity. Balotelli has become their lifeblood in recent months. Without him the tabloids would be bankrupt. The day after City’s drubbing of United the papers went bananas with firework puns. It was almost like a competition between them, who could use the most puns in one article.
Mash all the paper’s stories together and you’d end up with:
Super Mario Balotelli lit up Old Trafford with a sparking performance and a rocket of a goal leaving his manager Roberto Mancini doing Catherine wheels and Sir Alex firecracking the whip in the dressing room.
Firework pun overdose.
To add even more comedy to the situation, Super Mario became the face of firework safety, a master stroke for the campaigners. Who better than a daft footballer who’s set fire to his own house by throwing fireworks out of his window, to front a firework safety campaign. Funny, but genius.
I always feel for the paramedics, doctors and nurses who are rushed off their feet like no other day of the year during the bonfire weekend. The amount of kids who get hold of them and throw them around the street expecting nothing bad to happen seems to actually be growing!
Maybe it’s a failure in our education system, but isn’t it common sense for people to know fireworks are dangerous. Everytime I see the adverts I’m amazed that people need telling this. Next we’ll have oven safety warnings telling us they get hot when turned on; maybe a don’t smash a glass and eat it movement; or perhaps a don’t stick a fork in your eye campaign. I’m sure Mario will be available.
Every year you see the horrible figures of kids who’ve disfigured themselves with a firework. I think we should just give up trying to tell them to be honest; maybe they’re just doing it because we’re telling them not to. My solution would be to ban them from public sale. Simple really.
Fireworks should be sold to registered bonfire organisers only, through suppliers not irresponsible fireworks shops. If people want to go and see some fireworks they can go to a licenced event and watch them. Good for the economy, good for safety, bloody brilliant for the NHS.
It seems to me that it’s the best way to stop kids from getting access to them. I know people will groan that they like having their own in their back garden but c’mon people are getting burned to buggery every year now. Is it really worth the risk to you and your kids?
It’s not that I dislike fireworks, far from it, I love them. It’s just depressing to know that while you’re watching a fireworks show at a local event, somewhere not too far away a thirteen-year-old’s face is on fire.
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